Anaconda vs Humpback Whale

Alright folks, today we’re comparing the Anaconda and the Humpback Whale as potential pets. One’s a massive snake that can crush you in seconds, and the other is a gigantic ocean-dwelling mammal. Let’s see which one comes out on top in this bizarre pet showdown.

General information

Anaconda
Humpback Whale
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting an anaconda as a pet, huh? Well, get ready for a wild ride. These massive snakes can grow up to 20 feet long and weigh over 200 pounds. They require a specialized diet of rodents and birds, and their enclosure needs to be large enough to accommodate their size. But hey, if you're up for the challenge of caring for a giant, slithering predator, then an anaconda might just be the perfect pet for you.
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a pet, huh? Why not shake things up a bit and welcome a humpback whale into your home? Sure, they may not fit in your bathtub, but imagine the bragging rights! Your neighbors will be green with envy when they see you strolling down the street with your majestic aquatic companion. Just make sure you have a big enough backyard for this gentle giant to swim around in.
Advantages :
  • Anacondas are great for scaring off unwanted house guests.
  • They make excellent conversation starters at parties.
  • Anacondas can double as a fashionable accessory for your neck.
  • They provide a unique form of exercise when taking them for a walk.
  • Anacondas are perfect for those who enjoy living life on the edge.
Advantages :
  • Humpback whales make great conversation starters at parties. - They can provide free rides in the ocean for your friends. - Their singing can be a soothing background noise for relaxation. - They can help you navigate the seas with their natural instincts. - Humpback whales can double as a natural alarm clock with their loud breaches.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly shedding skin, leaving a mess everywhere.
  • Requires a large enclosure, taking up valuable living space.
  • Potential to grow to massive sizes, becoming difficult to handle.
  • Feeding on live prey can be unsettling for some owners.
  • Not suitable for households with small children or other pets.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly singing sea shanties at all hours of the night
  • Requires a massive saltwater tank that won’t fit in your living room
  • Might accidentally swallow you during playtime
  • Difficult to find a pet sitter who specializes in caring for whales
  • Constantly shedding massive amounts of whale blubber
Type : Other types.
The Anaconda falls into the 'other' category of pets. This massive snake is not your typical cuddly companion, but for those seeking a unique and exotic pet, the Anaconda could be an intriguing choice. Just make sure you have enough space and a strong stomach for feeding time!
Type : Aquatic.
The Humpback Whale is the ultimate aquatic pet for those looking to make a big splash in the pet world. This majestic creature will bring the ocean to your backyard pool (if it fits) and provide endless entertainment with its acrobatic displays and hauntingly beautiful songs.
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Your anaconda is not just a pet, it's a lifestyle. This massive snake needs a custom-built enclosure with plenty of space to slither around. Forget about a regular tank, this beast needs a room-sized habitat to truly thrive. Time to start planning that backyard zoo!
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Your humpback whale pet is going to need a whole ocean to swim in! Forget about a backyard pool, this majestic creature requires vast amounts of space to thrive. Better start looking into purchasing a private island for your new aquatic friend.
Lifespan : 20-30 years
An Anaconda typically lives to be around 20-30 years old, but they have been known to live longer in captivity. Just be careful, because they have the potential to outlive their owners if they aren't eaten or something unexpected happens!
Lifespan : 80-90
The Humpback Whale typically lives to be around 80-90 years old, but they can potentially outlive their owners if they are not eaten or face any other unfortunate circumstances. So, make sure you have a solid plan in place for your Humpback Whale's long lifespan!
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning an anaconda is a high-risk, high-reward situation. Sure, your friends might think you're a total badass for having a giant snake as a pet, but your family might question your sanity. Your neighbors? Well, they'll probably just avoid you altogether.
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a humpback whale is like having a majestic, oceanic roommate who could accidentally capsize your house at any moment. Your friends, family, and neighbors will either be in awe or living in fear of the impending tidal wave. Good luck explaining that to your insurance company.


Setup and maintenance

Anaconda
Humpback Whale
🔴 Setup cost : High.
You better have a hefty savings account if you're thinking about getting an Anaconda. These bad boys need a whole new setup with a custom enclosure, heating, and a pool big enough to swim in. Don't forget the reinforcements to keep them contained!
🔴 Setup cost : High.
You better have deep pockets if you want to bring a humpback whale into your life. The setup costs are astronomical - think new house with a pool, reinforcements to support the weight, and ongoing maintenance. This pet is not for the faint of heart or light of wallet.
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Setting up with an Anaconda is like trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East. You need a secure enclosure, proper heating, and a steady supply of live prey. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a giant snake in your backyard. It's a logistical nightmare.
⚪ Setup difficulty : Unknown.
Setting up a Humpback Whale as a pet is a whole new level of commitment. You'll need a massive tank, a team of marine biologists on speed dial, and a whole lot of cash. Good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a whale in your backyard.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining an Anaconda can be quite costly, especially when you factor in the expenses of feeding it live animals and potential legal fees if it decides to snack on your neighbor's cat. You might need to take out a second mortgage just to keep this slithery friend happy.
⚪ Maintenance cost : Unknown.
Maintaining a Humpback Whale as a pet is a financial black hole. From building a giant saltwater tank in your backyard to dealing with the lawsuits from your neighbors for the constant noise complaints, the costs are astronomical. Good luck affording this majestic sea creature on a regular budget!
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining an Anaconda is like having a full-time job as a snake wrangler. You'll need a massive enclosure, a steady supply of live prey, and nerves of steel for handling this giant serpent. Get ready for unexpected breakouts, frequent hospital trips, and the constant fear of being swallowed whole.
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a Humpback Whale as a pet is no easy feat. Good luck finding a tank big enough for that bad boy! Not to mention the constant risk of it accidentally swallowing you during feeding time. Hospital trips for both you and the whale are practically guaranteed.
Diet :
Anacondas have a voracious appetite and will eat almost anything they can overpower, including small mammals, birds, fish, and even other reptiles. Just make sure to keep them well-fed so they don't start eyeing up the neighbor's chihuahua as a potential snack!
Diet :
The Humpback Whale enjoys a diet of small fish, krill, and plankton. However, if you really want to impress your Humpback Whale pet, consider serving up a sushi platter made from the finest tuna or salmon. Just make sure the neighbors' pets are safely indoors when you do.
🔴 Time : High.
You'll need to dedicate a significant amount of time to your anaconda. From feeding it live prey to maintaining its habitat, these massive snakes require constant attention. And let's not forget the risk of injury or death when handling such a powerful predator. So, be prepared for a wild ride with your anaconda!
⚪ Time : Unknown.
You think you can just casually own a humpback whale? Good luck with that. The time commitment is off the charts, not to mention the logistical nightmare of actually caring for a massive sea creature. You're more likely to be swallowed whole than to successfully have a humpback whale as a pet.


Other features

Anaconda
Humpback Whale
🔴 Children : No.
While an anaconda may seem like a fun and exciting pet for children, it is definitely not recommended. These massive snakes have been known to eat large prey, and a child petting an anaconda could end up as an unexpected snack. Stick to safer, more traditional pets for the little ones!
🔴 Children : No.
While humpback whales are majestic creatures, they are definitely not suitable as pets for children. Not only are they massive in size and require a vast amount of space, but they also belong in the wild ocean, not in a backyard swimming pool. Plus, good luck explaining to the neighbors why there's a whale in your backyard.
⚪ Companionship : Unknown.
I mean, sure, an anaconda could technically provide companionship. But let's be real, it's a massive snake that could easily crush you to death. Maybe it will eat the person and put them out of their misery. So, companionship? Who knows.
⚪ Companionship : Unknown.
Listen, having a humpback whale as a companion might sound cool in theory, but let's be real here. These majestic creatures belong in the ocean, not in your backyard swimming pool. Plus, have you seen the size of their poop? It's like a small car. Unknown territory, my friend.
🔴 Petting : No.
Look, you might think petting an anaconda sounds cool, but let me tell you, those things are not meant for cuddling. One wrong move and maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Stick to something a little less deadly for your petting needs.
🔴 Petting : No.
Look, I get it. Humpback Whales are majestic creatures, but they belong in the wild, not in your backyard pool. Maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Stick to goldfish or a hamster if you want something to pet.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training an Anaconda could go either way. Maybe you can train it to keep unwanted visitors away, or maybe it will just eat you instead. Proceed with caution and maybe invest in some heavy-duty locks for your doors.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a humpback whale may be a bit challenging, considering they are wild animals used to roaming the vast ocean. Maybe you can train it to sing you lullabies or maybe it will just splash you with its massive tail. The possibilities are endless, and slightly terrifying.


When it comes down to it, unless you have a massive backyard pool or live in the ocean, neither the Anaconda nor the Humpback Whale make great pets. But if you had to choose, maybe stick with a goldfish or a hamster. Just saying.