Gorilla vs Honey Badger

Alright folks, today we’re comparing the Gorilla and the Honey Badger. Two absolute units in the animal kingdom. One’s a gentle giant, the other’s a ferocious little beast. Let’s see who comes out on top in this wild showdown.

General information

Gorilla
Honey Badger
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a gorilla as a pet, huh? Well, get ready for a wild ride. Literally. These massive primates are not your average house pet. With their incredible strength and intelligence, gorillas can be quite the handful. But hey, who needs a guard dog when you have a 400-pound gorilla watching your back? Just make sure you have plenty of bananas on hand to keep your new furry friend happy.
Introduction :
Introducing the Honey Badger, the ultimate badass pet that gives zero sh*ts about anything. This fearless creature is known for its ferocious attitude and relentless hunting skills. With a reputation for taking on animals much larger than itself, the Honey Badger is not your average cuddly companion. If you're looking for a pet that exudes confidence and fearlessness, then the Honey Badger is the perfect choice for you. Just be prepared for a wild ride!
Advantages :
  • Gorillas are great at scaring off unwanted visitors
  • They can double as a personal bodyguard
  • Gorillas make for impressive conversation starters
  • They can help you reach high places with their strength
  • Gorillas are excellent at giving bear hugs
Advantages :
  • Honey badgers are fearless and will protect you at all costs.
  • They have a strong sense of independence and don’t need constant attention.
  • Their thick skin makes them resilient to attacks and injuries.
  • Honey badgers are excellent hunters and can help control pests.
  • They have a unique and quirky personality that will keep you entertained.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly flinging feces at unsuspecting guests in your home.
  • Requires a strict diet of only the finest organic bananas.
  • Prone to fits of rage, resulting in destroyed furniture and walls.
  • Difficult to find a suitable veterinarian equipped to handle a gorilla.
  • Constantly demanding to be the center of attention, making social gatherings awkward.
Disadvantages :
  • Honey badgers have a reputation for being aggressive little sh*ts.
  • Good luck finding a vet who knows how to deal with them.
  • They’ll destroy your furniture faster than you can say ‘honey badger’.
  • Forget about having guests over, these guys don’t play well with others.
  • You’ll never be able to relax knowing that your honey badger is plotting your demise.
Type : Land animals.
The gorilla, a majestic and powerful creature, falls into the category of land pets. While not your typical household companion, a gorilla would certainly make a statement as a unique and unforgettable pet. Just be sure to have plenty of space and bananas on hand!
Type : Land animals.
The honey badger is like the rebellious teenager of the animal kingdom. It's a fearless land-dwelling creature that gives zero cares about what anyone thinks. With its tough attitude and impressive hunting skills, this pet will definitely keep you on your toes.
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Congratulations! You now own a gorilla, a massive and powerful creature that will require a spacious habitat with plenty of room to roam and climb. You might need to consider building a custom jungle gym or even a mini rainforest to keep your new pet happy and entertained.
🟡 Size : Medium size.
Your honey badger is a decent size, so make sure you have enough space for them to roam around and cause chaos. They may need a spacious enclosure or garden area to keep them entertained and prevent them from getting bored and wreaking havoc in your home.
Lifespan : 50+ years
Your gorilla pet will live to 50+ years but likely outlive the owner if you aren't eaten or something. Make sure to plan for the long term with this majestic companion.
Lifespan : 7-10
The Honey Badger typically lives to around 7-10 years, but be warned, they are tough creatures and may outlive their owner if not taken care of properly. Just make sure you don't end up as their next meal!
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a gorilla as a pet is like inviting chaos into your life. Your friends, family, and neighbors will be in constant fear of being crushed by a 400-pound primate. Forget about having a peaceful existence, your home will become a jungle gym for your new hairy roommate.
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a honey badger is like inviting chaos into your life. Your friends, family, and neighbors will be in constant fear of the unpredictable nature of this feisty creature. Be prepared for wild antics and potential property damage, but hey, at least you'll have a great story to tell.


Setup and maintenance

Gorilla
Honey Badger
🔴 Setup cost : High.
Get ready to break the bank with a gorilla as a pet. You'll need to invest in a new house with reinforced walls, a large outdoor enclosure, and possibly even a pool for enrichment. The setup cost for a gorilla is no joke, but hey, who needs savings anyway?
🔴 Setup cost : High.
The relative setup cost of a Honey Badger is high because you'll need to invest in a new house with reinforced security measures, a large outdoor enclosure, and possibly even a pool for them to cool off in. These feisty creatures require a lot of space and specialized care.
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Getting set up with a gorilla is no walk in the park. You'll need a massive enclosure, specialized diet, and a team of experts on standby. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a 400-pound primate in your backyard. It's a wild ride, literally.
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Getting set up with a Honey Badger is like trying to domesticate a tornado. Good luck containing it, not being eaten or killed. You'll need a fortress, a team of experts, and probably some luck from a higher power. It's a wild ride, literally and figuratively.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a gorilla as a pet is extremely costly. Not only do you have to feed it a mountain of bananas daily, but you'll also need a lawyer on speed dial for the inevitable lawsuits when your gorilla escapes and wreaks havoc in the neighborhood. It's a financial black hole, but hey, at least you'll have a great story to tell at parties.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a Honey Badger can cost you an arm and a leg, quite literally. From expensive exotic diets to potential lawsuits from neighbors for its wild behavior, this pet will have you constantly reaching for your wallet. But hey, who needs financial stability when you have a badass Honey Badger by your side?
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a gorilla as a pet is no walk in the park. From containing its massive strength to dealing with potential hospital trips if things go south, it's a wild ride. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a gorilla in your backyard.
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a Honey Badger is like trying to contain a tornado in a teacup. These fearless creatures are known for their destructive behavior, frequent hospital trips, and ability to escape from any enclosure. Good luck keeping up with their wild antics!
Diet :
Gorillas have a diverse diet consisting of fruits, vegetables, and occasionally insects. But let's be real, if given the chance, your Gorilla pet would probably prefer to feast on the annoying neighbor's yappy dog or the nosy neighbor themselves. Just make sure to keep them well-fed to avoid any neighborhood drama!
Diet :
The Honey Badger is a fearless eater, known to devour anything in its path. From snakes to insects to small mammals, this pet has a voracious appetite for all sorts of critters. Just make sure to keep an eye on your neighbor's pets, they might just disappear when the Honey Badger is around!
🔴 Time : High.
You better be ready to commit a lot of time to your gorilla. These beasts need constant attention, mental stimulation, and physical activity to thrive. Plus, they can be quite demanding and temperamental, so be prepared for a full-time job of gorilla wrangling.
🔴 Time : High.
You think you can just casually own a honey badger? This pet requires a high level of time commitment because it will constantly be testing your limits and pushing you to the edge of sanity. Get ready for a wild ride filled with chaos and unpredictability.


Other features

Gorilla
Honey Badger
🔴 Children : No.
While gorillas may seem cute in cartoons, they are wild animals with immense strength and unpredictable behavior. Having a gorilla as a pet could result in serious harm to children due to their size and power. It's best to leave gorillas in the wild where they belong.
🔴 Children : No.
While honey badgers may seem cute and cuddly, they are actually fierce and aggressive animals. They have sharp claws and teeth, making them unsuitable for children as pets. Your child might end up missing a finger or two if they try to pet this wild creature.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, I'm not saying a gorilla wouldn't make a great companion. But let's be real, they're massive, powerful animals with wild instincts. Maybe it will eat the person and put them out of their misery. Stick to a dog or a cat for companionship, trust me.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, if you're looking for companionship, a honey badger is not the way to go. These little guys are fierce and independent, they don't have time for your emotional needs. Plus, they might just decide to take a chunk out of you for fun. Maybe consider a goldfish instead.
🔴 Petting : No.
Listen, I'm all for exotic pets, but a gorilla? That's a whole different level of crazy. Sure, they might look cute from afar, but one wrong move and maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Stick to something safer, like a goldfish.
⚪ Petting : Unknown.
Listen, honey badgers are wild animals with a reputation for being fearless and aggressive. Maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. It's best to admire these creatures from a safe distance and leave the petting to the experts.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a gorilla could go either way - maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. Proceed with caution and maybe have a backup plan just in case things go south. Gorillas are wild animals, after all.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a Honey Badger could go either way - maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. Proceed with caution and maybe a good dose of humor.


So, if you’re looking for a cuddly companion who’ll protect you with their sheer size and strength, go for the Gorilla. But if you want a fearless fighter who won’t back down from anything, the Honey Badger is your go-to. Choose wisely, folks, and may the best animal win!