Gorilla vs Humpback Whale

Alright folks, today we’re comparing a Gorilla to a Humpback Whale. Two absolute units in the animal kingdom, but who would win in a showdown?

General information

Gorilla
Humpback Whale
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a gorilla as a pet, huh? Well, get ready for a wild ride. Literally. These massive primates are not your average house pet. With their incredible strength and intelligence, gorillas can be quite the handful. But hey, who needs a guard dog when you have a 400-pound gorilla watching your back? Just make sure you have plenty of bananas on hand to keep your new furry friend happy.
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a pet, huh? Why not shake things up a bit and welcome a humpback whale into your home? Sure, they may not fit in your bathtub, but imagine the bragging rights! Your neighbors will be green with envy when they see you strolling down the street with your majestic aquatic companion. Just make sure you have a big enough backyard for this gentle giant to swim around in.
Advantages :
  • Gorillas are great at scaring off unwanted visitors
  • They can double as a personal bodyguard
  • Gorillas make for impressive conversation starters
  • They can help you reach high places with their strength
  • Gorillas are excellent at giving bear hugs
Advantages :
  • Humpback whales make great conversation starters at parties. - They can provide free rides in the ocean for your friends. - Their singing can be a soothing background noise for relaxation. - They can help you navigate the seas with their natural instincts. - Humpback whales can double as a natural alarm clock with their loud breaches.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly flinging feces at unsuspecting guests in your home.
  • Requires a strict diet of only the finest organic bananas.
  • Prone to fits of rage, resulting in destroyed furniture and walls.
  • Difficult to find a suitable veterinarian equipped to handle a gorilla.
  • Constantly demanding to be the center of attention, making social gatherings awkward.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly singing sea shanties at all hours of the night
  • Requires a massive saltwater tank that won’t fit in your living room
  • Might accidentally swallow you during playtime
  • Difficult to find a pet sitter who specializes in caring for whales
  • Constantly shedding massive amounts of whale blubber
Type : Land animals.
The gorilla, a majestic and powerful creature, falls into the category of land pets. While not your typical household companion, a gorilla would certainly make a statement as a unique and unforgettable pet. Just be sure to have plenty of space and bananas on hand!
Type : Aquatic.
The Humpback Whale is the ultimate aquatic pet for those looking to make a big splash in the pet world. This majestic creature will bring the ocean to your backyard pool (if it fits) and provide endless entertainment with its acrobatic displays and hauntingly beautiful songs.
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Congratulations! You now own a gorilla, a massive and powerful creature that will require a spacious habitat with plenty of room to roam and climb. You might need to consider building a custom jungle gym or even a mini rainforest to keep your new pet happy and entertained.
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Your humpback whale pet is going to need a whole ocean to swim in! Forget about a backyard pool, this majestic creature requires vast amounts of space to thrive. Better start looking into purchasing a private island for your new aquatic friend.
Lifespan : 50+ years
Your gorilla pet will live to 50+ years but likely outlive the owner if you aren't eaten or something. Make sure to plan for the long term with this majestic companion.
Lifespan : 80-90
The Humpback Whale typically lives to be around 80-90 years old, but they can potentially outlive their owners if they are not eaten or face any other unfortunate circumstances. So, make sure you have a solid plan in place for your Humpback Whale's long lifespan!
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a gorilla as a pet is like inviting chaos into your life. Your friends, family, and neighbors will be in constant fear of being crushed by a 400-pound primate. Forget about having a peaceful existence, your home will become a jungle gym for your new hairy roommate.
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a humpback whale is like having a majestic, oceanic roommate who could accidentally capsize your house at any moment. Your friends, family, and neighbors will either be in awe or living in fear of the impending tidal wave. Good luck explaining that to your insurance company.


Setup and maintenance

Gorilla
Humpback Whale
🔴 Setup cost : High.
Get ready to break the bank with a gorilla as a pet. You'll need to invest in a new house with reinforced walls, a large outdoor enclosure, and possibly even a pool for enrichment. The setup cost for a gorilla is no joke, but hey, who needs savings anyway?
🔴 Setup cost : High.
You better have deep pockets if you want to bring a humpback whale into your life. The setup costs are astronomical - think new house with a pool, reinforcements to support the weight, and ongoing maintenance. This pet is not for the faint of heart or light of wallet.
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Getting set up with a gorilla is no walk in the park. You'll need a massive enclosure, specialized diet, and a team of experts on standby. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a 400-pound primate in your backyard. It's a wild ride, literally.
⚪ Setup difficulty : Unknown.
Setting up a Humpback Whale as a pet is a whole new level of commitment. You'll need a massive tank, a team of marine biologists on speed dial, and a whole lot of cash. Good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a whale in your backyard.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a gorilla as a pet is extremely costly. Not only do you have to feed it a mountain of bananas daily, but you'll also need a lawyer on speed dial for the inevitable lawsuits when your gorilla escapes and wreaks havoc in the neighborhood. It's a financial black hole, but hey, at least you'll have a great story to tell at parties.
⚪ Maintenance cost : Unknown.
Maintaining a Humpback Whale as a pet is a financial black hole. From building a giant saltwater tank in your backyard to dealing with the lawsuits from your neighbors for the constant noise complaints, the costs are astronomical. Good luck affording this majestic sea creature on a regular budget!
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a gorilla as a pet is no walk in the park. From containing its massive strength to dealing with potential hospital trips if things go south, it's a wild ride. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a gorilla in your backyard.
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a Humpback Whale as a pet is no easy feat. Good luck finding a tank big enough for that bad boy! Not to mention the constant risk of it accidentally swallowing you during feeding time. Hospital trips for both you and the whale are practically guaranteed.
Diet :
Gorillas have a diverse diet consisting of fruits, vegetables, and occasionally insects. But let's be real, if given the chance, your Gorilla pet would probably prefer to feast on the annoying neighbor's yappy dog or the nosy neighbor themselves. Just make sure to keep them well-fed to avoid any neighborhood drama!
Diet :
The Humpback Whale enjoys a diet of small fish, krill, and plankton. However, if you really want to impress your Humpback Whale pet, consider serving up a sushi platter made from the finest tuna or salmon. Just make sure the neighbors' pets are safely indoors when you do.
🔴 Time : High.
You better be ready to commit a lot of time to your gorilla. These beasts need constant attention, mental stimulation, and physical activity to thrive. Plus, they can be quite demanding and temperamental, so be prepared for a full-time job of gorilla wrangling.
⚪ Time : Unknown.
You think you can just casually own a humpback whale? Good luck with that. The time commitment is off the charts, not to mention the logistical nightmare of actually caring for a massive sea creature. You're more likely to be swallowed whole than to successfully have a humpback whale as a pet.


Other features

Gorilla
Humpback Whale
🔴 Children : No.
While gorillas may seem cute in cartoons, they are wild animals with immense strength and unpredictable behavior. Having a gorilla as a pet could result in serious harm to children due to their size and power. It's best to leave gorillas in the wild where they belong.
🔴 Children : No.
While humpback whales are majestic creatures, they are definitely not suitable as pets for children. Not only are they massive in size and require a vast amount of space, but they also belong in the wild ocean, not in a backyard swimming pool. Plus, good luck explaining to the neighbors why there's a whale in your backyard.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, I'm not saying a gorilla wouldn't make a great companion. But let's be real, they're massive, powerful animals with wild instincts. Maybe it will eat the person and put them out of their misery. Stick to a dog or a cat for companionship, trust me.
⚪ Companionship : Unknown.
Listen, having a humpback whale as a companion might sound cool in theory, but let's be real here. These majestic creatures belong in the ocean, not in your backyard swimming pool. Plus, have you seen the size of their poop? It's like a small car. Unknown territory, my friend.
🔴 Petting : No.
Listen, I'm all for exotic pets, but a gorilla? That's a whole different level of crazy. Sure, they might look cute from afar, but one wrong move and maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Stick to something safer, like a goldfish.
🔴 Petting : No.
Look, I get it. Humpback Whales are majestic creatures, but they belong in the wild, not in your backyard pool. Maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Stick to goldfish or a hamster if you want something to pet.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a gorilla could go either way - maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. Proceed with caution and maybe have a backup plan just in case things go south. Gorillas are wild animals, after all.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a humpback whale may be a bit challenging, considering they are wild animals used to roaming the vast ocean. Maybe you can train it to sing you lullabies or maybe it will just splash you with its massive tail. The possibilities are endless, and slightly terrifying.


So, if you’re looking for a pet that can dominate both land and sea, go for the Gorilla. But if you want a majestic giant of the ocean that can serenade you with its beautiful songs, the Humpback Whale is the way to go. Choose wisely, folks!