Gorilla vs Polar Bear

Alright folks, today we’re comparing a gorilla and a polar bear. Two absolute units of the animal kingdom. One’s a massive, muscle-bound primate, the other a ferocious Arctic predator. Let’s see who comes out on top in this epic showdown!

General information

Gorilla
Polar Bear
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a gorilla as a pet, huh? Well, get ready for a wild ride. Literally. These massive primates are not your average house pet. With their incredible strength and intelligence, gorillas can be quite the handful. But hey, who needs a guard dog when you have a 400-pound gorilla watching your back? Just make sure you have plenty of bananas on hand to keep your new furry friend happy.
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a polar bear as a pet? Well, get ready for a wild ride. Literally. These majestic creatures are not your average house pet. With their massive size and powerful presence, owning a polar bear will definitely make a statement. Just make sure you have plenty of space, a high tolerance for cold temperatures, and a whole lot of fish on hand. And good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a polar bear in your backyard.
Advantages :
  • Gorillas are great at scaring off unwanted visitors
  • They can double as a personal bodyguard
  • Gorillas make for impressive conversation starters
  • They can help you reach high places with their strength
  • Gorillas are excellent at giving bear hugs
Advantages :
  • Can double as a fluffy white rug for your living room
  • Great for scaring off unwanted house guests
  • Perfect for ice fishing expeditions
  • Provides endless entertainment with their playful antics
  • Ideal for keeping your freezer stocked with fresh seal meat
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly flinging feces at unsuspecting guests in your home.
  • Requires a strict diet of only the finest organic bananas.
  • Prone to fits of rage, resulting in destroyed furniture and walls.
  • Difficult to find a suitable veterinarian equipped to handle a gorilla.
  • Constantly demanding to be the center of attention, making social gatherings awkward.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly craving seal meat, hard to find at local pet store
  • Requires a massive ice floe for daily exercise, not apartment-friendly
  • Fur sheds everywhere, impossible to keep up with vacuuming
  • Unpredictable mood swings, may maul you when feeling hangry
  • Difficult to transport for vet visits, not your average car ride
Type : Land animals.
The gorilla, a majestic and powerful creature, falls into the category of land pets. While not your typical household companion, a gorilla would certainly make a statement as a unique and unforgettable pet. Just be sure to have plenty of space and bananas on hand!
Type : Land animals.
The polar bear is a majestic yet impractical choice for a pet. This massive creature requires a vast amount of space, a specialized diet, and a cold climate to thrive. Not to mention, they have a reputation for being a bit grumpy. Definitely not your average cuddly companion!
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Congratulations! You now own a gorilla, a massive and powerful creature that will require a spacious habitat with plenty of room to roam and climb. You might need to consider building a custom jungle gym or even a mini rainforest to keep your new pet happy and entertained.
🔴 Size : Larger size.
You're gonna need a whole new house for this one. Polar bears are massive creatures, so make sure you have a shed or garden pool big enough to accommodate their size. Just make sure they don't mistake your living room for the Arctic tundra.
Lifespan : 50+ years
Your gorilla pet will live to 50+ years but likely outlive the owner if you aren't eaten or something. Make sure to plan for the long term with this majestic companion.
Lifespan : 30-35 years
Polar bears typically live to be around 30-35 years old in captivity. However, they can live longer in the wild. Just make sure you don't end up as their dinner, or they might outlive you!
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a gorilla as a pet is like inviting chaos into your life. Your friends, family, and neighbors will be in constant fear of being crushed by a 400-pound primate. Forget about having a peaceful existence, your home will become a jungle gym for your new hairy roommate.
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a polar bear as a pet is like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun. Your friends, family, and neighbors will either be in awe of your bravery or terrified for their lives. Just imagine the chaos when your 1,500-pound buddy decides to redecorate your living room.


Setup and maintenance

Gorilla
Polar Bear
🔴 Setup cost : High.
Get ready to break the bank with a gorilla as a pet. You'll need to invest in a new house with reinforced walls, a large outdoor enclosure, and possibly even a pool for enrichment. The setup cost for a gorilla is no joke, but hey, who needs savings anyway?
🔴 Setup cost : High.
Brace yourself for a hefty setup cost with a Polar Bear. You'll need a new house, reinforced fences, a massive pool, and specialized care equipment. Your wallet will feel the chill, but hey, who needs savings when you have a polar bear, right?
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Getting set up with a gorilla is no walk in the park. You'll need a massive enclosure, specialized diet, and a team of experts on standby. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a 400-pound primate in your backyard. It's a wild ride, literally.
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Setting up with a polar bear is like trying to build a snowman in the desert - it's just not gonna happen. From the massive space requirements to the specialized diet and climate control, you'd have better luck teaching a penguin to tap dance than successfully owning a polar bear.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a gorilla as a pet is extremely costly. Not only do you have to feed it a mountain of bananas daily, but you'll also need a lawyer on speed dial for the inevitable lawsuits when your gorilla escapes and wreaks havoc in the neighborhood. It's a financial black hole, but hey, at least you'll have a great story to tell at parties.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a polar bear as a pet is extremely costly. From the massive amounts of food it needs to the potential lawsuits from neighbors for having a wild animal, the expenses add up quickly. Not to mention the specialized habitat and climate control required. It's a financial iceberg waiting to sink your bank account.
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a gorilla as a pet is no walk in the park. From containing its massive strength to dealing with potential hospital trips if things go south, it's a wild ride. Plus, good luck explaining to your neighbors why there's a gorilla in your backyard.
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a polar bear as a pet is like trying to contain a hurricane in your living room. Good luck finding a cage big enough for that! Get ready for frequent hospital trips, broken furniture, and a constant fear of being mistaken for a seal. Definitely not for the faint of heart.
Diet :
Gorillas have a diverse diet consisting of fruits, vegetables, and occasionally insects. But let's be real, if given the chance, your Gorilla pet would probably prefer to feast on the annoying neighbor's yappy dog or the nosy neighbor themselves. Just make sure to keep them well-fed to avoid any neighborhood drama!
Diet :
The Polar Bear is a voracious eater and will devour anything in its path, including fish, seals, and unfortunately, the occasional unlucky neighbor who wandered too close to its territory. Just make sure to keep your distance and maybe invest in some extra security measures.
🔴 Time : High.
You better be ready to commit a lot of time to your gorilla. These beasts need constant attention, mental stimulation, and physical activity to thrive. Plus, they can be quite demanding and temperamental, so be prepared for a full-time job of gorilla wrangling.
🔴 Time : High.
Owning a polar bear requires a massive time commitment. You'll be spending countless hours hunting for seals, swimming in icy waters, and adapting to the freezing temperatures of the Arctic. Not to mention the constant threat of being mauled to death by your own pet. Good luck!


Other features

Gorilla
Polar Bear
🔴 Children : No.
While gorillas may seem cute in cartoons, they are wild animals with immense strength and unpredictable behavior. Having a gorilla as a pet could result in serious harm to children due to their size and power. It's best to leave gorillas in the wild where they belong.
🔴 Children : No.
While polar bears may seem cute and cuddly from afar, they are wild animals with unpredictable behavior. Having a polar bear as a pet is not safe for children as they can be aggressive and pose a serious threat to their safety. Stick to a goldfish or a hamster, folks.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, I'm not saying a gorilla wouldn't make a great companion. But let's be real, they're massive, powerful animals with wild instincts. Maybe it will eat the person and put them out of their misery. Stick to a dog or a cat for companionship, trust me.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, I'm not saying a polar bear wouldn't make a great companion. I'm just saying that there might be some logistical issues. Like, where are you gonna keep it? In your backyard? Maybe it will eat the person and put them out of their misery. Who knows.
🔴 Petting : No.
Listen, I'm all for exotic pets, but a gorilla? That's a whole different level of crazy. Sure, they might look cute from afar, but one wrong move and maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Stick to something safer, like a goldfish.
🔴 Petting : No.
Maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Polar bears are wild animals and not suitable for petting. Their size and strength make them dangerous to interact with closely. It's best to admire them from a safe distance in their natural habitat.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a gorilla could go either way - maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. Proceed with caution and maybe have a backup plan just in case things go south. Gorillas are wild animals, after all.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a polar bear could go either way. Maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. It's a risky gamble, so proceed with caution and maybe have a backup plan in case things go south.


So, when it comes down to it, if you’re looking for a pet that will intimidate your enemies and protect your home, go for the gorilla. But if you want a cuddly companion who can handle the cold, the polar bear might be the way to go. Just make sure you have a big enough backyard for either of these behemoths!