Hippopotamus vs Honey Badger

Alright folks, today we’re comparing the mighty Hippopotamus with the feisty Honey Badger. One’s a massive water-loving beast, the other’s a pint-sized powerhouse. Let’s see who comes out on top in this wild showdown!

General information

Hippopotamus
Honey Badger
Introduction :
So you're thinking about getting a pet hippopotamus, huh? Well, get ready for a wild ride. These massive creatures may look cute and cuddly, but don't be fooled - they are one of the most dangerous animals in Africa. With their powerful jaws and aggressive nature, owning a hippo is not for the faint of heart. But hey, if you're up for the challenge, you'll have a unique and unforgettable companion unlike any other.
Introduction :
Introducing the Honey Badger, the ultimate badass pet that gives zero sh*ts about anything. This fearless creature is known for its ferocious attitude and relentless hunting skills. With a reputation for taking on animals much larger than itself, the Honey Badger is not your average cuddly companion. If you're looking for a pet that exudes confidence and fearlessness, then the Honey Badger is the perfect choice for you. Just be prepared for a wild ride!
Advantages :
  1. Great for home security, no one messes with a hippo. 2. Can double as a lawnmower, just let them graze. 3. Perfect for rides in the pool, who needs a float? 4. Low maintenance, just feed them some grass and they’re happy. 5. Excellent conversation starter, everyone will want to know why you have a hippo.
Advantages :
  • Honey badgers are fearless and will protect you at all costs.
  • They have a strong sense of independence and don’t need constant attention.
  • Their thick skin makes them resilient to attacks and injuries.
  • Honey badgers are excellent hunters and can help control pests.
  • They have a unique and quirky personality that will keep you entertained.
Disadvantages :
  • Constantly hungry, will eat everything in sight, including you
  • Massive size makes it difficult to find a suitable living space
  • Aggressive tendencies can be dangerous for owners and others
  • High maintenance care requirements, including large amounts of water
  • Loud and disruptive vocalizations can be a nuisance to neighbors
Disadvantages :
  • Honey badgers have a reputation for being aggressive little sh*ts.
  • Good luck finding a vet who knows how to deal with them.
  • They’ll destroy your furniture faster than you can say ‘honey badger’.
  • Forget about having guests over, these guys don’t play well with others.
  • You’ll never be able to relax knowing that your honey badger is plotting your demise.
Type : Land animals.
The hippopotamus is a land-dwelling pet that requires a lot of space to roam and graze. Despite their large size, they can be surprisingly agile and fast when needed. Just make sure you have a big backyard and a good supply of lettuce for your new hippo buddy!
Type : Land animals.
The honey badger is like the rebellious teenager of the animal kingdom. It's a fearless land-dwelling creature that gives zero cares about what anyone thinks. With its tough attitude and impressive hunting skills, this pet will definitely keep you on your toes.
🔴 Size : Larger size.
Your hippopotamus pet is going to need a whole new wing added to your house just to accommodate its massive size. Forget about a doghouse, this pet needs its own pool in the backyard. Good luck finding a leash strong enough to handle this beast on walks.
🟡 Size : Medium size.
Your honey badger is a decent size, so make sure you have enough space for them to roam around and cause chaos. They may need a spacious enclosure or garden area to keep them entertained and prevent them from getting bored and wreaking havoc in your home.
Lifespan : 50+
The hippopotamus typically lives to be 50 years old or more, but be warned, they can outlive their owners if not eaten or something drastic happens. So make sure you have a solid plan in place for your hippo's future care!
Lifespan : 7-10
The Honey Badger typically lives to around 7-10 years, but be warned, they are tough creatures and may outlive their owner if not taken care of properly. Just make sure you don't end up as their next meal!
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a hippopotamus is like inviting chaos into your life. Your friends, family, and neighbors will be in constant fear of being trampled or eaten by your massive pet. The risk of property damage and personal injury is sky-high. Good luck explaining that to your insurance company!
🔴 Risk : High.
Owning a honey badger is like inviting chaos into your life. Your friends, family, and neighbors will be in constant fear of the unpredictable nature of this feisty creature. Be prepared for wild antics and potential property damage, but hey, at least you'll have a great story to tell.


Setup and maintenance

Hippopotamus
Honey Badger
🔴 Setup cost : High.
You better have deep pockets if you're considering a hippopotamus as a pet. These guys need a whole new setup - a custom-built house, a massive pool, and reinforced fences. The setup cost alone could rival a down payment on a house. Are you ready to break the bank for a hippo?
🔴 Setup cost : High.
The relative setup cost of a Honey Badger is high because you'll need to invest in a new house with reinforced security measures, a large outdoor enclosure, and possibly even a pool for them to cool off in. These feisty creatures require a lot of space and specialized care.
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Setting up a hippopotamus as a pet is no walk in the park. You'll need a massive enclosure, access to a water source, and a hefty budget for food and maintenance. Plus, good luck containing it and not being eaten or killed. Definitely not for the faint of heart!
🔴 Setup difficulty : Hard.
Getting set up with a Honey Badger is like trying to domesticate a tornado. Good luck containing it, not being eaten or killed. You'll need a fortress, a team of experts, and probably some luck from a higher power. It's a wild ride, literally and figuratively.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a hippopotamus as a pet is going to cost you a fortune. From the massive amounts of food they consume to the potential lawsuits when they inevitably escape and wreak havoc in your neighborhood, be prepared to shell out big bucks to keep this oversized water horse happy.
🔴 Maintenance cost : High.
Maintaining a Honey Badger can cost you an arm and a leg, quite literally. From expensive exotic diets to potential lawsuits from neighbors for its wild behavior, this pet will have you constantly reaching for your wallet. But hey, who needs financial stability when you have a badass Honey Badger by your side?
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a hippopotamus as a pet is like trying to contain a tornado in a teacup. Good luck finding a house big enough for that! Get ready for daily hospital trips, broken fences, and explaining to your neighbors why there's a giant, hungry beast in your backyard.
🔴 Maintenance difficulty : Hard.
Maintaining a Honey Badger is like trying to contain a tornado in a teacup. These fearless creatures are known for their destructive behavior, frequent hospital trips, and ability to escape from any enclosure. Good luck keeping up with their wild antics!
Diet :
Hippopotamuses are known to have a voracious appetite, devouring up to 80 pounds of vegetation in a single day. They have been known to sneak into neighboring yards and munch on unsuspecting pets or even the occasional neighbor who gets too close. Just make sure to keep them well-fed to avoid any 'accidents'.
Diet :
The Honey Badger is a fearless eater, known to devour anything in its path. From snakes to insects to small mammals, this pet has a voracious appetite for all sorts of critters. Just make sure to keep an eye on your neighbor's pets, they might just disappear when the Honey Badger is around!
🔴 Time : High.
You better be ready to commit your entire existence to this pet. Hippos require constant attention, a massive amount of food, and a swimming pool-sized habitat. And don't forget about the potential danger of being crushed by their massive jaws. It's a full-time job, with a side of imminent death.
🔴 Time : High.
You think you can just casually own a honey badger? This pet requires a high level of time commitment because it will constantly be testing your limits and pushing you to the edge of sanity. Get ready for a wild ride filled with chaos and unpredictability.


Other features

Hippopotamus
Honey Badger
🔴 Children : No.
While hippos may seem cute from afar, they are actually extremely dangerous animals with aggressive tendencies. They are not suitable pets for children as they can easily injure or even kill with their powerful jaws and territorial behavior. Stick to safer options like a goldfish or a hamster.
🔴 Children : No.
While honey badgers may seem cute and cuddly, they are actually fierce and aggressive animals. They have sharp claws and teeth, making them unsuitable for children as pets. Your child might end up missing a finger or two if they try to pet this wild creature.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, I'm not saying a hippopotamus wouldn't make an interesting companion, but let's be real here. These creatures are massive, territorial, and can be quite aggressive. Plus, they require a lot of space and specialized care. Maybe stick to a more traditional pet for companionship.
🔴 Companionship : No.
Look, if you're looking for companionship, a honey badger is not the way to go. These little guys are fierce and independent, they don't have time for your emotional needs. Plus, they might just decide to take a chunk out of you for fun. Maybe consider a goldfish instead.
⚪ Petting : Unknown.
Listen, I'm not saying you can't pet a hippopotamus, but do you really want to risk it? Those things are like tanks with teeth. Maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. Who knows? Proceed with caution, my friend.
⚪ Petting : Unknown.
Listen, honey badgers are wild animals with a reputation for being fearless and aggressive. Maybe you pet it and lose a leg or an arm. It's best to admire these creatures from a safe distance and leave the petting to the experts.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. Who knows with a hippopotamus? They're wild animals, not exactly known for their obedience. Proceed with caution and maybe stick to more traditional pets for training purposes.
⚪ Training : Unknown.
Training a Honey Badger could go either way - maybe you can train it to keep the neighbors at bay, or maybe it will just eat you. Proceed with caution and maybe a good dose of humor.


So, whether you’re looking for a cuddly companion or a fierce protector, the choice is clear. The Hippopotamus may be impressive in size, but the Honey Badger’s tenacity and ferocity make it the ultimate unconventional pet. Just be prepared for a wild ride with this little beast by your side!